


Don't Say It

by ThereIsNoTragedyInThat



Series: Spirits and Cocaine [24]
Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, I messed up, Idiots in Love, It was supposed to be fluff, Kissing, M/M, Period Typical Bigotry, They love each other, but the world doesn't love them, hopeless Javier Peña, listen, then my muse said, there will be angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:54:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29850114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThereIsNoTragedyInThat/pseuds/ThereIsNoTragedyInThat
Summary: The mountain side was quiet, rolling hills sprawled out in a show of its magnificence, Colombian landscape alive and sweltering under the too bright sun, sitting high in the crystal blue sky.
Relationships: Steve Murphy/Javier Peña
Series: Spirits and Cocaine [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2100027
Comments: 8
Kudos: 17





	Don't Say It

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Lap sitting 
> 
> Kinda mad at myself for this one because I had this great idea that would be pure, unadulterated fluff...and then my muse came in screeching for angst and sadly she is the boss in this relationship. I'm sorry.

The mountain side was quiet, rolling hills sprawled out in a show of its magnificence, Colombian landscape alive and sweltering under the too bright sun, sitting high in the crystal blue sky. Javier had found this spot about a year into his transfer, an old, overgrown road that you traveled endlessly, on and on, past soaring trees and leftover boulders from a long past rockslide…until it began to even out, until you found yourself driving right to the edge of a cliff face.

He wasn’t quite that close today, having backed up under the shade of a crooked, lonely tree. Today had been too hot, too stifling for office buildings and snappish people, what with even the narcos hunkering down until the heat wave finally passed, he’d seen no reason to uselessly patrol empty streets.

The bed of his truck was facing the beauty of the landscape, a thick blanket rolled over the metal, knowing it would burn at the touch otherwise. A cooler with a few cold beers and a whole lot of water was heaved up afterwards and Javier tried not to smirk at Steve’s skeptical gaze. Common wisdom would suggest staying inside in temperatures like these, sitting your ass in front of a fan or air conditioner, drowning yourself in a cold shower, and maybe that would be a good idea, but Javier wasn’t the type to let a day off go to waste.

Pulling himself up, he turned around and reached a hand toward Steve and Javier watched, heart swelling in his chest as his lips twitched into a smile. Shaking his head, Steve gripped his hand, and Javier helped him up, except he didn’t let go, tugged him closer until he could kiss him.

It was brief, a single moment of their lips meeting until a chuckle bubbled up from Steve’s chest and they pulled away. The area seemed abandoned, nobody around for miles, that didn’t mean they were going to tempt fate.

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Steve muttered, cupping his cheek.

“You didn’t put up much of a fight.”

The fondness in his gaze was a physical thing, Javier swore he could feel it on his skin as his partner shrugged, “no, I guess I didn’t.”

Reaching up to grip the hand on his cheek, Javier kissed his palm, felt the callouses against his lips, eyes fluttering closed for a moment, before releasing him, turning away and climbing down from the truck. Walking back to the driver’s side, he kicked the little stones at his feet before reaching in and turning up the stereo. Leaning inside, he fiddled with the dial for a minute until he found one of the local acoustic stations. It was a bit staticky this high up, but it was perfect in its own way.

Javier left the door open and found himself standing there, staring at Steve’s profile, sat against the back window of his truck, music drifting gently into the air, and was a little blindsided by the tremor in his chest, the shivering, loving, thing inside him that made his eyes sting unexpectedly.

“Javi?”

Steve was turning his head and he forced his voice to stay even, “coming, right here.”

It was almost terrifying, the sheer intensity of what he felt for the man in front of him. The way every touch and every look felt like a photograph, a moment of happiness destined to fade with each passing day. Steve wrapped his fingers around his wrist and tugged him down to sit next to him and that too; the easy touches, the smile…felt temporary and some days Javier found himself overwhelmed with the need to hold him close, to grip each of these memories tight because they’d soon be taken from him.

A love like there’s couldn’t exist anywhere else.

Except here.

Javier never would have guessed he’d find salvation in the back of a beat up truck parked in the middle of nowhere, never would have guessed he could feel like he did under the eyes of a man who looked at him and only saw someone he could love, never thought he could feel this kind of happiness again.

The song, one Javier didn’t know, and Steve couldn’t interpret picked up a little. A female voice, soft yet powerful pleaded for forever. His partner stared in front of them and when he finally spoke in a hushed tone, it was like he was afraid of breaking a spell, “this place is beautiful.”

“I thought you’d like it.”

Steve glanced at him, one eyebrow arching, “why’d you wait so long to bring me here uh?”

Javier didn’t know how to say it was because he wasn’t sure this was real, if they were real. Didn’t know how to tell Steve that he’d woken up that morning from a dream that was impossible and left him with an agonizing yearning and tears on his cheeks with how badly he wanted it to be anything but a conjured image in his mind.

“Had to make you earn it didn’t I?”

Steve laughed and Javier’s eyes were drawn to the sweat threading its way down his throat, the droplets in his hairline, making him glisten. Found himself overwhelmed by the brightness of his eyes and the stretch of his smile, knowing he was the reason he looked so happy.

Abruptly, Steve shifted, turned a little awkwardly in a bid to avoid touching the sides of the truck and suddenly he was settling himself in Javier’s lap, long legs straddling him. He was smirking now, and it was way too hot to be pressed against him like this, the shade of the tree not providing nearly enough relief, but Javier just let his hands rest on his thighs, squeezing gently.

Steve leaned in close, nose brushing his and somewhere in the background the women’s voice was gone, a man singing now, about the woman who he’d give his heart to, begging her not to break it, to hold it close and lock it away, to protect it and he’d be by her side until the day he died.

Hands slid into Javier’s sweaty hair, almost cradling his head and he stared up at Steve, helpless, as he asked, “what exactly did I do to earn it?”

_Made me fall in love with you._

Javier tilted his chin up just enough to let their lips brush, “that was a great blowjob last night.”

Steve laughed, like Javier knew he would, twisted his hands where they were still buried in his hair, sending a shiver down his spine, “sounds like pretty low standards.”

He opened his mouth to respond, intent on hearing him laugh again, wanting to brand that sound in his mind, except he didn’t get the chance. Steve kissed him and this time it wasn’t teasing or chaste, this time it was deepened, hands pulling Javier closer, crushing him to his chest and it was the easiest thing in the world to wrap his arms around Steve and sink into it.

Because….this was familiar, the edge of desperation echoed the same fear that kept him up at night, the same need to have this forever, to be in his arms forever.

_I woke up from a dream this morning and I cried._

_Because I wanted to believe it was real._

_We had years and years to grow old together._

_I never had to forget the sight of your smile._

_I got to hear my name in your voice every single day._

_I had you until the day I died._

_I never had to know what it was like without you by my side._

When Steve pulled away, he looked at him like a man in love and Javier felt something inside him pull thin and break, knew that the same thing was reflected in his own eyes. He didn’t know how to survive this but here, on this mountain side, it didn’t matter.

There was only _now_ and _them_ and _love_.


End file.
